


Grima helps with your maths homework

by Genoscissors



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: 2nd Person, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Other, They/They Grima
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 09:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21072464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genoscissors/pseuds/Genoscissors
Summary: What it says on the tin.I wrote this instead of doing my maths homework.





	Grima helps with your maths homework

You were in a ton of trouble. You had 10 questions due tomorrow, and as always, you hadn’t started until the night before. And you were stuck on the first one. And it was too late to ask your teacher for help. So of course, you did the most reasonable thing:

You procrastinated even more and grabbed a random book off the shelf. Ooo, a historical book about Exalt Chrom? Delicious. Usually you weren’t interested in history (besides that one part with the monarch with like, 20 siblings he didn’t know about until he was in his early-20s). But today, it was the perfect thing to study. 

Do your maths homework you twat.

Never!

So apparently this dude Chrom was 21 when he defeated a god. Now there was an unrealistic expectation of how your life would go. “And with this blow, the fell dragon Grima was put to sleep for 2000 years.” Funky. So this happened in like, 2611? (At least, using one calendar. Years could be confusing sometimes.)

Wait a sec, the current year was 4623… you weren’t so peachy on differentiation, but you could do this, it had been over 2000 years now. And a quick Google gave no Grima sightings over the last few years… yep! He was due an appearance.

Great, how to summon him… wait, what? How much blood? That would take at least… 2 spiders? (Ok, way more than 2. Also did spiders even have blood?). And a fancy-pants alter than was probably a world heritage site, and inaccessible at this hour… 

Why couldn’t it be easy? Why couldn’t you just say “Oi Grima, get over here.” And-

“Holy fuck who are you?” You stared at the random person who was now in your room. They were pretty good-looking, nice hoodie. Wait no, nice knee-length robes. They floated a few centimetres off the ground, might wanna get that checked out bud. 

“I am the wings of despair, I am the breath of ruin! I am the fell dragon Grima!”

“Oh flip that worked? Uh, hi.”

“Hmph, it’s been a while since I trod this mortal plain. You must have had an important reason to summon me, only someone with an incredibly strong will could manage. Tell me, what does your heart desire?”

“Help with my maths homework?” You asked bluntly.

“Haha, a simple task for one as powerf- what?”

“Maths homework. Integrals.”

“What?” They seemed genuinely shocked. Or maybe they had no idea what you were talking about.

“Integrals. For integrating a function.” Your voice was very uncaring. “Find the area under a graph.”

“I know what an integral is worm! I am simply shocked by your audacity! Summoning me - a god - for such a trivial task! I-”

“So what you’re saying is that you don’t know how integration works. Gotcha.”

“I know how it works!”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You fool, I could smite you right where you stand… sit.”

“So you can’t help me. Fine, I’ll get Naga instead.”

“Alright! I’ll help you with your damned maths!” 

They sat down next to you. Now, you only have one chair in your room. What I’m trying to say is that you’re sharing a chair. You’re tempted to suggest that you both sit on the bed instead, but this is nice.

“So, this is the first question.” 

Integrate the following: a) x^2 (x^3 + 4)^3  
Just to clarify: Question “1” goes up to part q.

“And what do you make of that?”

“Well… it looks like integration by parts. Ya know, cause it’s a function multiplied by a function? But it looks like I’ll have to do it by parts multiple times, and that’s tedious.”

“Hah, don’t make me laugh. Tedious is when you spend so many years manipulating the Plegians to start a war, only to have to listen to that fool Gangrel talk about how Gucci he is. Every. Single. Morning. For an hour! Tedious is when your vessel continues to disobey your call, and falls in love with that damned prince! Tedious! Is when another bloody baby falls out of the sky every time two people in the Ylisse army hold hands! Do your damned integration by parts!” 

Well then.

You spent several minutes attempting this, before burying your head into Grima’s shoulder and moaning. “Can’t do it. It’s not working.”

Grima pushed you onto the floor and laughed. “Haha.” They rose a few centimetres off the ground again (show off), and burnt the piece of paper you’d been working on. “Fool! Imbecile! This isn’t a by parts question! Look closely! What is x squared?”

You looked at the book. “It’s the fucking differential of the middle, isn’t it?”

“Exactly! Start again!”

You grabbed a new piece of paper. “You could have just given me that hint at the beginning.”

“Yeah but this is way more fun.”

You did the next few questions a bit more easily, Grima occasionally chastising you, whilst surfing the web for information about what’d been going on the past few centuries.

“Hey dude.”

“I am a god.”

“That’s cool dude. Anyway, tan squared. How the hell do I do that?”

“You must be joking.”

“Nope, just an idiot.” 

“Hmm… how to put this in words you’d understand. Use a trigonometric identity.”

“Like what?”

“Like what? Please, tell me you can think for yourself a little. As nice as it is to have mindless followers, it’s only fun when they worship you.”

“Oh my most powerful Grima,” You said, as sarcastically as possible, “Please tell me what- it’s the one with sec squared isn’t it?”

“You figured it out? I didn’t expect you’d manage.”

“Whatever.”

They seemed a little offended at how nonchalant you were, but you just accepted this.

Eventually, you finished the “10” questions.

“Finally. You are an impertinent-”

“Fool?”

“Fool, but I must thank you. You have awoken me from my slumber. Now I can return to more important things.”

“Such as?”

“Taking over the world of course.”

“Cool.”

They tried to leave, but were unable. 

“What sourcery is this?”

“Dunno dude.”

“Stop calling me dude!” They seemed real miffed. “Ahem. It appears I am now bound to you, and as you still have a need of me, I cannot leave yet.”

“Oh, well there is something…”

“What?”

“I also have physics homework."


End file.
